Hey guys, I just wanted to weigh in with a thought:
I am very sympathetic to the frustration by OP in this thread. I also understand the "counter point" that is coming up in the dialogue. I'd like to pose a scenario for reflection and see what you guys think...
I believe there is a subtle but SUBSTANTIAL difference in whether someone is expressing DESIRE to purchase something, or communicating INTENT. Simply mouthing off DESIRE in a vague fashion puts one in the 95% of people category, and is difficult to be TOO critical of... however, when one communicates INTENT to a seller and then backs out, it IS more substantial and brings into question integrity as well as compromises the good faith effort of a seller, ESPECIALLY if there is EXPLICIT COMMUNICATION such as "please hold that for me" or "I'm getting the money together, and INTEND to buy it from you". Very different from "I WANT to buy one of those, but don't know that I can pull it off".
Also, life is dynamic. It is true that there are cases where one DOES INTEND to make a purchase, and some change in circumstances that is "unavoidable" precipitates inability to follow through on the intent. The onus is on the INTENDING BUYER to "make good" with the seller through communication. This doesn't necessarily "fix it" for the seller, and becomes a judgment call relative whether or not it's an indiscretion that warrants "retaliation".
Lastly, there is the category of those who COMMIT to make a purchase and then back out. Sometimes this COMMITMENT is not clearly distinguishable from INTENT. Once again, it's all about the communication and courtesy with which actual intention and ability are being relayed.
Anyway... I try to be VERY CLEAR when I communicate. If I SAY I AM "IN" on a purchase, I believe I SHOULD be pulling the "Paypal" trigger in short order and making right with the seller. If I communicate "desire" but do not yet INTEND on making a purchase YET or a COMMITMENT yet, then it's MY RESPONSIBILITY to communicate this clearly to a seller.
At the end of the day, it's all about integrity and reputation. What is YOUR integrity and reputation worth? To me, this is a VERY VALUABLE COMMODITY that is not a RIGHT but a privilege. I want to protect that fiercely, and have even MADE GOOD on a purchase because of my STRONG communication of INTENT or COMMITMENT even when it turned out financial situation "changed" or my needs and preference changed, just to make GOOD on my word. This is not always common in our cyber-world, and to the expense of all of us.
I encourage CLEAR, CONCISE communication above all else. Coupled with a valuation of your integrity as an individual, I suspect less situations like this thread describes, and better outcome for both buyers and sellers in general.
Not sure if that "adds" anything to this discussion, but it sort of "quantifies" my empathy and overall view on the matter...
PS: We can ALL just count on the following, too... "Money talks... Bullsh!t walks!" (Or suffers ridicule in a thread like this!
)
Carry on...
-crisp
by trd4life » Thu Jun 09, 2011 10:09 pm 
Musubi
