Jawbreaker Road Rally 2009 - Cincinnati Aug 22 & 23

[PhreakdOut]

We take the Peach Mountain Road turn and .... fresh gravel. Damnit! It's one lane wide and no room to turn around. The Porsche 993 is right behind and he's not thrilled either. A quick look at the Navigation says the road is about a mile long and links to another road then a major road. Fine! Deal with it. I do a solid 20 mph down I'm-gonna-kick-someone's-Ass-road only to find the next road is gravel too. Who the screw runs the ODOT? Larry the Cable Guy? 3 miles of total Hell and we're back on civilized pavement. That was a good ten minutes lost.

It's been a couple hours and we're hoping lunch is not far away. The course is wearing me out and the car could use a rest. Last turn and then proceed 12 miles to Aggies Restaurant. Woo-hoo!

As with each turn, I reset the trip odometer and keep the hammer down (somewhat.) We're in a 55 zone but lots of oncoming cars. I suspect this is not a good road for speeding so I keep it at 85-90. The Porsche has already caught up and is doing the same. 12 miles comes and goes and no Aggies. We're in a tiny riverfront downtown checking the name of every business there. I'd rather slow than miss it. No other Jawbreakers and no sign of Aggies. On the other side of town, somewhere around 14 miles from the last way point we find Aggies and roll in to sign in our time. We are signed in and free to spend downtime at lunch. This time is subtracted from our overall.



















We hang out at Aggies for a great lunch. (Included with the entry fee.) I run the car up to town to refill the tank. Leg 1 burned 2/3 of a tank.
I get back and then we hear the war stories. Cars are still coming in. Still no sign of the two Zs that started with me.

The white Talon rolls in and says he was pulled over for 114mph in a 55 zone. We are all surprised that he is not currently enjoying a body cavity search prior to being handed an orange jumpsuit. He looks whipped. They are talking about leaving the race and heading straight to the finish and skipping the next two checkpoints. We pass around an empty pitcher and take up a collection for his ticket. I figure he got a couple hundred. I heard a couple 50's were put in.

The Z's roll in when Tact and I are about ready to go. We must have been at lunch about 1 hour.

[PhreakdOut]

LEG 2 is next....

The black Porsche heads out before us. We were going to ride together again but Clay wanted to follow us in his silver 350Z. Brian and Lee (red 370Z) were still working on lunch. Clay was wanting to put the hammer down and go a little faster than he did with Lee. (Lee's 370Z is brand F'in new so he's still breaking it in. What a great event to do so.)

I pull out and the silver EVO camera car follows. The passenger is shooting video for his next promo or highlight reel. We take advantage of a straightaway rolling shot and I'm happy. I look forward to seeing his next film short.

Clay catches up as we cross the narrow steel bridge crossing into Kentucky. No more road map now. Sure, we could stop and get a Kentucky road map, but we'd never understand the landmarks on it. (Cooter's old Barn ... O're yonder where Uncle Jessie's still done blowed up ... follow the sign to Billy Bob John Boy's Animal Dating Services...) So we skipped buying the local road maps even though they were hand drawn in crayon and ventured forth on our original directions and NAV.

Two check points left and the finish. As usual, we're flying with the top down and the sky is not looking too good. Occasional sprinkles come down here and there. Clay and his GF are wondering if we are going to stop and put the top up. ...... Nope! We just keep driving.

Tact's warning are now changing. Where he used to call out "loose gravel on right or left ..." he's now calling out "chicken's on left" , "watch the pack of dogs on the right." Yup! We're in Kentucky!

The roads are really getting hilly now. A few times the hill crests with no indication that it will go left or right. All I can see is a hill and a Cedar tree straight after the hill. A few times my ass puckered as I'd crest the hill and see nothing but valley ahead and a hard Phuckin right turn. I know I locked the fronts and kicked the ass end left. Tact never said a word. He went right back to his list of directions and watched the 1.5 car wide road for oncoming traffic. Nerves of Phreaking steel! I would have barfed as a passenger.

The clouds ahead are REALLY dark now. I turn to Tact ... "Should we stop and put the top up? ..... Nah, let's keep rolling!"

Apparently there have been a few cars ahead of me making a spectacle screaming through these backwoods roads. People are starting to gather on porches and along barns waiting for the next car to come through. You can hear my Greddy exhaust for half a mile so they new we're coming. It was kind of like a road rally in that one house had people taking pictures of the two Z's flying by. Way phuckin cool! My head is getting so big I don't notice the rain ahead.

The road gets tighter and adds hills and twists. One hill is a 180 with a steep incline. I go around while spinning my rear tires to keep the car moving at a decent speed. Clay is right there behind. Despite his GF puking twice (in a plastic bag) before lunch, he keeps going hard and sticks close to me. She is just relieved that Clay is following me and she no longer has to navigate. What a good sport! Had I brought my wife, she'd be bitchin long before puking.

Remember the rain? It decided to all come down at once. The kind of rain that stings when you stand in it. The interior was getting soaked. No good place to stop so I keep the hammer down (somewhat.) We find a straight in a couple minutes and pull over. With the top up, we are sitting there absolutely soaked.

The rear tires are acting a little unstable in the rain so I slow it down from 60-70 to 45-50. I'm still not comfortable as I know time is ticking. After the incident with the gravel road, I assumed our time was way off from the lead.

We approach the final check point near the interstate. Clay is behind me and we're speeding through town and approaching a red light. Tact looks left and says "COP!" I take my foot off a second and see the lights on the white sedan are red. "It's the Fire Chief, not a cop!" I hammered it down and whisked through the red light. Clay is stuck at the intersection.

We pull in to the check point and get our last poker card. We have a King, two Queens, a jack and a damn two. A pair of queens King high is not so bad for one hand. We hit the interstate and try to make some time.

The area around Erlanger, KY (where Toyota's HQ is located) is filled with cops. I know this. My last ticket in Kentucky was in this area. The radar detector is not going off so we take our chances. Clipping along through traffic the radar detector goes solid! 95-80-70-60 .... damn! It's one of those signs that tells you your speed. I get back on it again. I remember that there are 3 or 4 more of these between us and the bridge crossing into Ohio.

It's not very relaxing to speed while the detector is going Ape-$hit.
Last stop is 5th avenue in Cincinnati where the finish is at the Mainstay Bar!

[tacti]

Great write up!
i was reading thru and each moment flashback.
i won't be able to tell the story as good as you do, so i'll just leave it up to you!

Tact

[michaels artic frost]

Sorry I couldn't make the rally; I'm glad to hear you had an excellent co-pilot. Thanks again for everything Tact and Brian.


Til next time,
M

[Black Bob]

Yet again I missed an awesome meet, hopefully next year I can make it. However, I don't think I would enter the rally, though--all those twists and turns and gear drops and pedal stomps would have my Capt'n Coke spilled all over meself. And if I had my girlfriend as my navi she'd be telling me to turn after a quartermile PAST the turn.

[PhreakdOut]

(continued)

We never saw the black Porsche after we left Aggies. I assumed these guys cleaned up and were waiting at the finish. We arrived and ... no Porsche. Where the heck are they? We didn't pass them! Only a few cars were already there. Several left lunch ahead of us.

About 10 minutes after we arrive, here comes the Porsche!


I seem to have picked up some grass between the body and the CF underwing.


Mike (the Porsche driver says they took a wrong turn. It cost them about 20 or so minutes.)




His navigator is glad to have finished well.


Everyone hangs around to share war stories and see who comes in next.




Clay says everything in his trunk got shifted around. Note the trunk mat is on top of the stuff. LMAO!!


This is an $84K Cadillac STS-V. It's supposed to have over 400Hp. It must be fast, I never saw it out there.








This Subaru has a video camera mounted in his hood scoop. Cool!

[PhreakdOut]

At one point before lunch, there was a sharp hill in the road. I saw it last second and slammed on the brakes. I thing we were partially off the ground when we went over it. I think the biker had a bit more fun with it.





An older M3


Lee finally arrives

[Pogs]

wow that was an awsome read. i would love to do something like this... wouldnt do good but it still sounds pretty sweet.

[PhreakdOut]

More continued later ...

Coming up:
- The After Party
- Day 2 cruise to lunch. Awards and results on who won what.

[yaddadaimsayin]

great writeup(s)! I was thoroughly engaged in the entire read. looks like a lot of fun. Can't believe you let the Z get soaked though. haha dedicated!

[GreenSolara01]

Lokks like alot of fun, need stuff like that around NC

[PhreakdOut]

Fastest Times

1st Place:* #1 – 4 hours and 36 minutes (Red Porsche Boxster)

2nd Place #747 – 4 hours and 46 minutes (Red Nissan 350Z Roadster)

3rd Place:.**#23 – 4 hours and 59 minutes (Red Cadillac STS-V)

4th: #003 - 5 hours and 3 minutes - ?

5th: #11 - 5 hours and 7 minutes - Black Porsche 993

6th: #3 - 5 hours and 8 minutes - Black Mitsubishi EVO (3rd Place closes to time)

SECRET TIME = 5 hours and 14 minutes

7th: #9915 - 5 hours and 16 minutes - Black BMW 328 IS (WINNER OF CLOSEST TO TIME)

8th: #53 - 5 hours and 18 minutes - Silver Subaru Impreza WRX STi (2nd Place Close to Time)

9th: (Tie) #01 - 5 hours and 23 minutes Red VW GTi

9th: (Tie) #10 – 5 hours and 23 minutes White VW GTi

10th #43 – 5 hours and 47 minutes - White Mitsubishi EVO

11th* #69 – 5 hours and 48 minutes - Red Mitsubishi Eclipse AWD Turbo

12th.**#66 – 5 hours and 49 minutes - Black 65 Mustang

13th*(Tie)* #16 – 6 hours exactly - Green BMW M3

13th**(Tie) #7 – 6 hours exactly - White BMW M3

13th*(Tie)* #2 – 6 hours exactly - White Eagle Talon AWD Turbo

14.(Tie) *#007 – 6 hours and 4 minutes - Yellow Suzuki GSX-R

14.*(Tie)*#777 – 6 hours and 4 minutes - Green Lexus SC400

15.*(Tie)* #8 – 6 hours and 4 minutes - Silver VW Scirocco

16.*#666 – 6 hours and 8 minutes - Grey BMW 325

17. (Tie) #14 – 6 hours and 11 minutes - Red Nissan 370Z

17.*(Tie)* #12 – 6 hours and 11 minutes - White Toyota Celica GT-S

18. #420 - 6 hours and 25 minutes - Grey 1990 Infinity M30

19. #999 - 6 hours and 27 minutes - Grey Audi S4

20. #13 - 6 hours and 47 minutes - Lexus IS300

(Clay, I didn't see #5 listed. What was your finish time?)

AWARDS

Closest to the secret time:

First Place – 9915, Black 1997 BMW 328 SI

Second Place – 53, Silver 2007 Subaru Impreza WRX STi

Third Place – Black 2004 Mitsubishi Evo



Best Poker Hand – 420, Black 1990 Infiniti M30 with a Full House

Fastest Time – 1, Arena Red 1998 Porsche Boxster

The Ran out a Gas award – 999, 2007 Dolphin Grey Audi S4

Only Classic Car – 66, Black 1965 Ford Mustang

Wildest Ride – 11, Black 1997 Porsche 993

Dirtiest Car – 666, 1986 Rusty BMW 325e

Only one on 2 wheels – 007, Team Alstare Replica 2003 Suzuki GSXR-600

Flashiest Ride – 747, Red 2004 Nissan 350Z Roadster

Slowest Time – 13, Black 2004 Lexus Is 300

Random Draw for FREE ENTRY FOR JAWBREAKER 2010 – 12, Super White 2000 Toyota Celica GT-S

[jetbtkng]

gm product 3rd place, there making a come back, what no vets in the rally............................

[michaels artic frost]

Congrats Brian and Tact!!!

[SolaraPete]

This sounds like a kick-ass rally - great write up Brian and congrats on your finish! This sounds like something im totally up for in 2010 - please post up the info for next year when its available!!